Things easier to write than to say

My husband:

1. Loves me and our children with his whole heart. Unconditionally.
2. Takes excellent care of himself in order to take excellent care of his family.
3. Is in awesome shape, meaning it is awesome to rub up on his shape.
4. He is a much better cook than me but only rarely reminds me of this fact.
5. When I had hair, D loved to brush it. Now without hair, he rubs my head with lotion.
6. He has never once complained about how hard my illness has been on him.
7. And lord, it has been hella hard on him. A sick wife and four kids is a big load to carry on a good day. These days it's really unfathomable.
8. When we had to make decisions about Jackson's care and eventually stopping treatment it was a heavy load but one we carried together. That man, alone, had to make almost split second decisions about my health without a team-mate minus a partner.
9. When I think about the responsibility I put on his shoulders I cringe for him. Not for me because I was in the best hands.
10. I could never find another man who would praise my ''leadership'' instead of calling me a sometimes strident, impossible to please harridan. Because sometimes, I am just that exactly. Silver lining, he seeks it, obviously.
11. The kids all and I do mean all prefer D over me. And as I know I am pretty dang good to them, that says a lot about him. He is a freaking fantastic father.
12. He treats our girls like precious jewels and showers them with affection.
13. He treats our boys like precious jewels and showers them with affection.
14. Although both of our girls are (not even kidding folks) beautiful to a ridiculous degree he praises their intelligence first, always. They both finished the year on honor roll.
15. When I was sobbing about my hot mess of a snatch, D just said it's okay, it will be fine. I didn't marry you for your hair, I didn't marry you for your pussy fancy place.
16. I stopped sobbing and started counting my blessings, literally.
17. He mourned my dad not just as a father in law but as a friend. Those two were tight and it is comforting to share my grief, as with Jackson, with someone who gets what a loss my dad was not just to his family but to everyone who knew him.
18. D has made certain that I and more importantly the kids know that if anything were to happen to me, now in the immediate future or ever, they will stay with him.
19. If you read number 18 and didn't at least tear up, read it again. That is a man right there, in every sense of the word.
20. I love love love you, D. But the dog stays, she's part of the package!

Comments

[Bon]

jesus, you two. you make me tear up before i've even had coffee.

Shan, you & Deels and this love story bring me joy. and clearly, in each other, you've found your Other, your home. there is nothing better for the soul, for healing.

keep on enduring, and healing, and loving. and that fancy place will heal...i promise. mine took, uh (don't throw things) about a year from the full split, and my full split may not have been as dramatic as yours. but the body heals. you two keep the relationship together and you'll be good.

[Headless Mom]

You two are some pretty lucky people. That kind of love is not found easily, and not to be taken lightly. It's obvious that neither of you do.

Heal well and quickly, my friend!

[thordora]

What a fine man you have Shannon. All your trials, and such simple sweet love. I envy you.

I hope you're back to your harridan self soonest. :)

[Knickers]

Oh I was crying way before number 18. Our family has experienced a tiny portion of what you guys have been through and I thought that alone was too much to bear at times. You guys rock hard. Sending all my love to your family.

[Frogdancer]

I've been single for 12 years, raising my 4 boys on my own.

This makes me wish I'd found someone like that. They're rare... believe me!

[woodstove]

"When I had hair, D loved to brush it. Now without hair, he rubs my head with lotion."

You took my breath away at number 5...and then it even got better.

You are both so lucky.

Yes,I know, given what you have been through that seems such an odd thing to say, but seriously, reading these last two blog posts? Blessed might be a better word.

I didn't think the 100 things posts could be topped, but I think you both just did that.

Call me when you are bored and awake.

Miss you!

[maggie, dammit]

You guys are so sweet.

[karla]

you two are so lucky to have each other.

[lorrie]

When they start cloning people, I have a suggestion for the first one...

[Geohde]

I feel like an interloper- I've just discovered your blog and the whole cancer thing and the whole loss thing and honestly, I just had to comment so I didn't feel like I was peeking through your curtains.

Hope you don't mind a commenter from left field leaving general words of encouragement and the news that you have a new reader :)

g