CharmingBitch

THANK YOU, MS. BEV!!!!

HOLY SHIT! Or i should say HOLY GROCERIES! We brought Shan home for waht amounted to a few hours, it took longer to get her moved than we were told, and then got her transported to hospital #2. While we were gone a lady showed up wiht a box of groceries from our friend Woodstove or Beverly from Oregon.

Our friend Kel was here when the lady came and she could not believve somoene sent groceries from 3000 miles away. Spaghetti and sauce, potatoes**, juice**, grapes, soup, bacon and best (as far as the kids are concerened) pudding and pop-tarts, lol.

**funny aside, Sue drinks OJ, the boys apple juice and she sent both, BLESS HER because we were alomst out of both and forgot to stop at the store on the way home, breakfast saved**

**one of the things all the kids agree on more than soup is potatoes, Shan makes them about a hundred different ways (think the shrimp scene in Forrest Gump) so a bag of potatoes = manna from heaven to the kids. Simple but true.**

So Ms. Bev, thank you so much. That was so personal and so generous. Our family to you, we thank you, we love you and we're lucky to have you as a friend.

No real update on Shan. Her thumb is jacked, her fever is creeping back up to 102-103 but they hope to get it controlled over the weekend and go ahead with isotopes come Monday or Tuesday. She is in a good place, with better care we hope and when we left her tonight she was pretty relaxed and settling in. Time with the kids did her a lot of good, too. I will keep you posted as things progress but my goodness thanks too for all the great cards. They really made her day to read today and she has them with her in her room. You guys are great and I mean it.

Pissed

Not much to say today. Shannon's fever is still holding at 100-101. They gave her ativan last night after being told a lot of times that she reacts very badly for it. Ativan and demerol are both out of the question for her. She loses her damn mnd and I don't sat that to be funny.

She once threw an IV pole at her mom whiel screaming for her to 'get hte fuck out' of her hospital romm on demerol. Atican does the same thing only worse. Raging, cussing evil is all I can say. They gave it to her anyway when she was having trouble staying asleep last night and by 6am this morning they called. The hospital called wanting someone to come 'help calm her down'. They even sonded mad. Ha. Turns out she broke a bone in her thumb hitting her hand against a bed-rail.

SHE BROKE A BONE IN HER THUMB. I am so pissed it's unbelievable. She was green lit for the isotope therapy but the hospital for the procedure won't have a bed until Saturday. No choice but to leave her over-night again because discharge paperwork won't be done intil morning and without all the i's dotted and t's crossed the next hospital won't take her Saturday.

BROKEN!!! BONE!!! So Shan will be home tomorrow for a day then onto next hospital and hopefully better treatment and care. I am so pissed I can't even see straight. A broken fucking bone comepletely unavoidable is not what she needed.

Kids are great, paerents are great, keep on keeping on.

WE HAVE SOUP

Shan won this contest by Anne-Marie and today we got home from the hospital and found a GIANT box on the car-port. 48 cans of soup! FORTY EIGHT! Plus a lunch bag the girls are already ''scheduling'' days to use and four soup cupss with lids. Can you even believe it? My step-mom cried she was so toched. The girls eat a crazy amount of soup for school lunches so they felt included and cared for just by getting soup. Thank you so much Anne-Marie and thank you Campbells. Is soup something most people cry over? No but most people aren't living these circmstances and we are grateful for the caree and concern.

Update Again

My dad and step-mom are here and going a bang up job. My step-mom, her name is Daria by the way has these kids eating out the palm of her hand in one day. She braided the girls hair painted their fingernailss and helped the boys build a fort with sheets and pillows. She is great and just what the kids needed.

My dad is hleping in his own way. My dad is a very religious man and he spent the day at the hospital with Shannon in prayer. I don't think Shan has ever really understoof how much my dad cares for her She knows he likes her but he really loves that girl like a daugher. The nurses siad he held her hand and just prayed all day. He is a good guy doing the best he kowns how.

Shannon's fever is holding at 100. It is not progress really but its' not a set-back either so we're glad for that much. Nobody wants their spouse inthe hospital but getting the rest she has has taken ten years off her face. I can't get over the calm. If the hospital is waht it takes to make her heal and rest, so be it. They did let James, the little one, visit her for a few minutes today. My step-mom worked magic at the nuirses station to make it happen. Never seen a happier little boy in my life and Shan cried like she won the lottery.

Harry gave my step-mom a lesson about nick-names today that was funny. I never realized that Shan alomst never calls the kids by their names. Chrissie is Sugar or Shuge, Suzanne is Princess or Mighty Girl, Harry is Bear, Little Bear, Harry Bear, James is Little One, Little Man, Puddin even the dog is rarely Sadie she is Pretty Pretty Girl Girl, yes twice, Sadie Lady or ha That Idiot Dog. I agree with the last one lol. But Harry was tellng Daria all of these other names and made her repaet them the same way he is made to do in speech therapy. Say it like this ''pretty'' ''pretty'' ''girl'' ''girl''. It was really funny and made him feel important to school her about the way things are around here. He is one good kid.

My step-mom made dinner tonight and ti was great. She is a excellent cook and even made brownies for the kids. They loved that for sure. She even cooked for the dog. She made home-made dog food for Sadie! It was simple, some chicken and rice and broth with vegetables and Sadie at it up like a champ. Not that she was wasting away but she did need to eat. She will be even more spoiled by the time Shannon gets home lol.

Well thanks for listening and thanks so much for all the kind e-mails raching out to our family. The internet is just amazing to me. We had a really bad experience in the fall of last year with a 'friend'' from the internet and it was scary but to me our overall experience cannot be dampended by one psycho. You guys really are great and thank you aagiain for all the love given to Shan and the kids.

Update

Shannon is doing better. Her fever has stayed at 100 for two days. I don't know if she is feeling better because she is sleeping a lot but she looks good. Better color and she looks so rested and peaceful. It's drug induced calm but so much better than seeing the stress on her face that has been there for too long.

My dad and step-mom will get here today to help at the house and with the kids. I have tried to prepare them for the chaos but I think they will be fine. My dad has 13 kids and I think he can handle four. These four kids have really been on point with Shan being gone. They are champions. James is the youngest and because he is so young he hasn't been allowed to see Shannon and it has been realy rough for him but he's making it alright.

It is really crazy just to visit Shan. She is in what they call a negative pressure room in a protected ICU. When Jackson was sick we had to suit up like astronauts to visit him. It's not that bad to visit Shan but it's close. I know the reason for all the precautions but it makes it hard to take the kids to visit and they can't really stay for long. Tehy erally are holding up but they miss her a lot. So do I.

Many of you wonderful peopel have asked about sending Shan something at the hospital. Because of precautions taken with the kind of room she is in she can't have muchh from the outside like flowers but if you would like to send a crd to the house for when she gets home just e-mail me for the address. I know she would appreciate it. You guys really hae been so kind.

The pllan for now is to get her fever too keep going down and later this week Shan will be evaluated to see if she is a candidate for isotope therapy until she can resume regualr radiation. The chemo did not work, the radiaiton was too hard on her and isotope may be a good alternative and with her having the combination of ovarian, uterine and cervical cancers isotope therapy may be able to aggressively attack all three sources without putting Shannon down for the count in the process. It is all just so scary but now is not the time for fear I keep telling myselff.

I will keep you guys psoted and thank you again for all your concern. It means a lot to our famly. Cross your fingers the kids will be gentle with my dad and step-mom. Send nice thoughts to that dog Sadie too. She has barely ate since Shan left and there is nothing sadder than a depressed dog. Poor thing.

Hospital

Shan has been in the hospital since Fridayy. She is really sick. Her ovaries are infected and inflammed and her immunme system is shot. Radiation has also kicked her ass.

Things are bad but a nurse made an excellent point that it is amazing Shan has been sick this long wihtout being in the hospital. She also had not been taking her pain medication and I don't know how that is possible. She has taken bad-ass to a new and incredibly stupid level. No reason to hurt like that but that will change in the future.

We arwe getting the process started to have rspite care and home health when Shan comes home. After three days with the kids and just me I have no idea how she does this everyday alone but I have also been so proud of the kids. Shannon has lists (laminated even) all over the house for who does waht, when they do it, how to do it (of cours). Amazing family, amazing kids.

No wored yet on how long the hospital stay will last but I will update. Pray, meditate, send love and warm thoughts for our girl. We did not come this far to lose her now.