One of the things we have struggled with since getting custody of this gaggle of children (to recap, we have my sister's three kids (6, 5 and 3) and my niece from my first marriage (14) is how to refer to them when speaking to others, such as their schools, coaches and parents of their friends. It's hard sometimes to know what to say, meaning what to say that won't require too much of a follow up or explanation. Because frankly, yeah, it's a bit confusing but at the same time, a lot of what would explain why they live with us is not something I want the kids to have to navigate; it's hard enough to have parents that are addicts without facing additional judgment from peers or people who are peer adjacent.
Now for D, well. It's obvious these are not his kids. Two of my sister's kids (6 and 3) are poster children for the Aryan Nation, fairest skin, blondest hair, bluest eyes, much like their father. Little Bear (5) looks much more like my sister, brown hair, dark eyes, olive skin. My niece (14) is just a gorgeous kid. Tall, long dark hair, green eyes. A stunner. But again, none of them would ever be mistaken as being multi-racial so when D is out and about with them or when we're out as a family, there is no mistaking him for their daddy. Which while providing an obvious 'answer' really only leads to more questions, particularly when they're out without me. It's apparently fine and well for a black man to take responsibility for and raise a bunch of white kids but not for him to show up in public with them without a white escort. Eyeroll. I know. But, you know, some people.
